My perceptions on the whole "girls mature faster than guys" argument has been forever shattered by my experiences this summer working at the conference desk. To explain how it's been shattered, you'll need to understand some facts of life that I have observed.
Firstly, when observing adolescents to determine their true nature, you must examine the specimens in question in an environment outside parental supervision. When teenagers are around their parents, they behave differently for the same reason a dog doesn't jump on the couch when it's owner's home: namely, they don't want to be swatted with a rolled up copy of Taste of Home magazine. Secondarily, the environment must be one in which there are many other specimens all without parental supervision, and thus acting in their true colors as well. This creates the perfect environment for observing the adolescent condition. Thus, I have determined that summer camps are actually the perfect place to observe and draw conclusions about the developing man or woman.
Secondly, you must understand the basis for my previous acceptance of the assumption that women develop maturity earlier than men. I have found in my studies that the best indicator of a given adolescent's maturity is what I like to call the "Camp Creeper Factor." (CCF) This is defined as such: The amount of time measured in minutes that a given camper spends awkwardly hitting on the opposite gender multiplied by the either the number of hairs in their failstache or the number of hours you estimate it took them to apply the copious amounts of facial makeup around their eyes will always = the number of years until that individual is actually ready to function outside of summer camp.
Previously, my experience at camp had always led me to believe that CCFs for male individuals was exponentially higher than the CCFs for female campers in the same age group. It's common practice for male campers to spend their entire summer camp trying desperately and lamely to attract the attention of the female campers. This phenomenon is painful to watch and is often accompanied by copious failstache hair, thus leading to a very high CCF. Meanwhile the female campers seem to have zero interest in flirting with the notable exception of any female camper with blonde highlights. Thus, any non-highlighted female will generally have a 0 CCF since 0 x whatever their makeup earns them is still 0. However, what I've learned this summer has led me to take another look at the CCF of females.
What I have discovered will I am sure rock the substantial scientific community studying adolescent creepiness. Girls don't flirt with guy campers, they stalk guy STAFFERS. This is a revolutionary discovery! Since the CCF on the males they have available in their age group is so high, they naturally gravitate to the nearest available non-camper males, who have long since outgrown the attraction that 62 gallons of green sparkly makeup has for the camper males. This has resulted on my being stalked by no less than 5 different groups of middle and high school girls who for some reason mistake "being trapped behind a desk and obligated to be friendly" for "approving of the awkward crush you seem to have on me."
Think of the repercussions! Now, instead of having 0 CCF, they have an even higher CCF than male campers, who at least stick to girls their age. Thus I have determined that each minute spent awkwardly hitting on someone older than you must be accompanied by another integer for every year older than you the subject is. For example, a 15 year old hitting on a 19 year old for 10 minutes would actually result in a CCF of 50 times the makeup factor.
All that to say: Guys mature faster because at least they stick to what is theoretically acheivable.
Other than revolutionizing scientific discoveries, working at the Conference Desk this summer has afforded me quite the opportunity to get acquainted with the men and women who work every day to make Covenant function. Names I see in e-mails all the time, like Rodney Miller, Leda Goodman, and Angie Nail actually have faces to attach to them and overall, getting to know Covenant's staff has been a great experience. They're awesome and if you don't know the people filling up your inbox each year you should make the effort to stop people with coffee mugs around campus and find out who they are.
We're now most of the way through all of the camps coming to covenant this summer. After another two weeks of Student Life camps, we're done, and I'll be working for facilities in between RA training and getting ready for the semester to start. Next week I'm actually heading to upstate NY to meet my family at my uncle's lake house there for a weekend before returning to Covenant WITH A CAR!!!!
I've also noticed I have a bad habit of burning myself recently. Whether I'm sunburning myself, lighting my thumb on fire trying to grill something, accidentally touching hot oil, or just straight up dropping flaming branches on my foot, my subconscious seems set on self-immolation. Have to watch that.
